CARP (IN UMBRIA)
Carpe Regina

Alice B. Toklas may have clubbed her carpe to submission, but here in Umbria, you need only a few dead mice, a fishing pole and patience to tire out your catch until they give up the fight.

Mattia, the tall, blond, handsome son of my neighbor did just this last month. His catch, each weighing about 700 g (roughly 1 1/2 lb each), unscaled, ungutted lay frozen, awaiting some fishmonger to appear with the remaining skill set. None of the locals really knew anything about cooking these carp and almost everyone decided it would be impossible to coax these not terribly attractive specimens into something that would be edible. Did I say almost everyone? You can always count on a mother, your very own good witch, to encourage you to believe!

Knowing I was an owner of a cooking school in Umbria and a cooking teacher, it was nothing for Marilena, Mattia’s mother and good friend of mine, to suggest that I teach her how to scale, gut and prepare these lake creatures for a Saturday night get together. What a gift? The opportunity for a Carp Festa. In a matter of minutes, I had committed to the task not quite knowing much of anything other than how to clean a round fish.

I had two memories. The first, was the unpleasant, strong flavor of carp when I had adventurously ordered it during my first stay in Umbria and the second, was the impressive presentation of a quiet large roasted carp as the owner of a local osteria carried it on a platter past me. It wasn’t for my table so I can’t comment on the outcome, but it looked glorious.

For fish lovers in Umbria, the carp takes on the flavors of another local specialty, Porchette that huge boned out pig seasoned with wild fennel (finocchio selvatico) and rosemary. Under the shade of my olive trees, I found wild fennel after stalking it for years in fruit & vegetable stores to no avail. Now that I’m a settler, the fennel returns year after year with no effort on my part. The rosemary bush too, thrives on neglect, growing larger and larger each spring as if it will someday overrun the garden in retribution. Prosciutto of the wild boar, a staple in this part of the world is so delicious that it is a staple in my kitchen. The trilogy of flavors for our carp, porchetta style was effortlessly complete.

At a designated time in early afternoon, Marilena set out a table under the pines, and together, Jack, Marilena and I covered the table with old newspapers. We brought our chef’s knives, and 2 sets of come-apart scissors for scaling. The carp were defrosted overnight in the refrigerator and were now slimy, bloody and ready for the preparations. Dracula, the cat appropriately named for his ghost like coloring and piercing green eyes was already pacing in wait for the trimmings. The sun was high overhead but the sound of thunder could be heard in the west. Should we take this as an ominous sign? I could hear my friend Jack wondering out loud whether he should start eating his grapes in anticipation of a dinner with nothing to eat.

We removed the dorsal , pectoral, pelvic & adipose fins. We opened up the belly and pulled out the bloody guts. By this time the flies were biting my ankles. The idea of eating these ugly looking prizes was beginning to make my stomach wheezy. I pulled out the gills. We rinsed the fish with a nearby hose. They were now ready for a soak in a bath of water & wine; we’re talking local jug wine, about 1 euro a liter. Carp are known to have a bloodline that contributes a brackish flavor and the soak helps to remove it. So they say…

Since my refrigerator was large enough to accommodate the stainless steel hotel pans that were remnants of my catering business in my youth and which had been stored in my mother’s attic for 20 years, then shipped to Umbria to equip my school, the carp would become my guests for the next few hours.

We returned to our individual projects with the decision to continue the preparation of the porchette condiment at 7 o’clock, an hour before roasting time. At exactly 7pm, Marilena’s sweet Hellllllohhhh announced her arrival. I had harvested half dozen branches of rosemary and wild fennel. Jack thinly sliced the prosciutto of the boar. The olive oil from my racolte last October sat on the counter in waiting. Out came the olive wood mortar and pestle. I mixed the fennel, rosemary, garlic and olive oil into the mortar and pounded away until it was reduced to a paste.

In the meantime, Marilena continued with her back up plan, delicious salads: bean salad, rice salad with hard cooked eggs from her hens, pasta salad, along with her husband Pierro’s outstanding bruschette and grilled sausages. Just in case…

We drained the carp from their acidic bath, patted them dry with paper towels, made 3 short slits on each side of the filets and stuffed them with the condimento. The carp were now ready for the pans with nothing more needed than a sprinkling of salt, pepper and a drizzle of olive oil.

I fired up my ovens to 190 Celsius (375 F). By 8 o’clock, the carp entered their sweltering resting place. I set the alarm for 20 minutes. As the heat intensified the aromas, our noses began to send signals that all may not be well. By this time the intense flavor of the condimento was beginning to turn from it’s original pleasant perfume to the smell of a dead fish, no pun intended.

10 minutes later, the carp were ready. At least they looked good. There’s nothing like the beautiful look of liquid gold and roasted herbs to disguise what may lie beneath.

Once again, I heard the sweet voice of Marilena…hellllloohhhhhh….are we ready? Jack & I grabbed our mitts, boning knives, and spatulas. We whisked the roasted carp out of the ovens, across the front yard and into my neighbor’s kitchen. There were 10 people ready, willing and highly skeptical. It was suddenly clear to Marilena, Jack & I that our reputations were at stake. No matter that the carp could have some major defects. We had the responsibility to turn some dead fish into a gastronomic piece de resistance.

The pans were laid in front of me. With boning knife in hand, I cut off the head, offered the eyes to anyone bold enough, and made an incision along the side. I cut along the backbone and gently lifted the first filet off. So far, not bad. The fish came easily off telling me it was cooked through. It looked moist, again not bad. I continued turning the fish over to remove the other filet. I scraped away the pin bones. Marilena began to serve. Silence. Dead Silence. I continued with the next carp. Wine was poured, the salads were placed on the table and Pierro entered with his back up sausages.

One by one, the word DELIZIOZO rang out. I asked Mattia to tell us how he came to fish and why toppo (the mouse) was used for bait…We raised our glasses to the carp, one of our friends made some weird comment “le carpe, carpe diem”, “the carp, takes the day”, and we applauded Mattia for his fine catch.

NOTES:
The lakes of Umbria: Trasimeno, Chiusi, among other lesser known, offer an abundance of fresh water fish, some of which are naturalized while others have been deliberately introduced. Perugia breeds fish for restocking in 2 areas around Trasimeno: Sant’ Archangelo and Borgo Cereto. One can fish for pike, carp, trout, tenches, perches and eel during regulated seasons.

If you don’t have access to a lake and a fishing poll, ask your local fish butcher for a snapper or branzino.

CARPE REGINA

Ingredients
1 whole fish, scaled, gutted and gills removed
3 tablespoons fennel fronds, finely minced
2 tablespoons rosemary, finely minced
2 cloves garlic, finely minced
1 ounce prosciutto, minced
Salt
Pepper
Olive oil

Procedure

1.Place the cleaned fish in a pan. Make 3 diagonal cuts spaced about 2 inches apart on each side of the fish. Fill with the “condimento”. Stuff the remaining condimento into the cavity of the fish.

2. Drizzle olive oil, sprinkle salt & pepper on both sides of the fish.

3.Place in a 375 degree oven for 30 minutes. The fish is done if firm to the touch or a thermometer registers 145 degrees F when inserted into the thickest portion of the filet. Make sure you don’t hit the bone.

4.Allow the fish to rest a few minutes. Cut along the line along the top of the fish. Cut the head off. Cut down the backbone. Scrape the filet away from the backbone. Scrape away any pin bones. Starting at the tail end, lift the backbone up and away. You’ll be left with the other side of fish filet. Once again, trim the edges and remove any pin bones. Serve immediately.